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A THING HERE
Fandom: Umineko no Naku Koro ni
Rating: PG-13 for excessive gay and trolling innuendo
Characters: Ronove, Ushiromiya Battler
Summary: Ronove tries to feed Battler snacks.
---
The beautiful sight of golden butterflies gathered together and coalesced into the form of Ronove. The demon butler bowed to Battler, a serving tray of tea and snacks in one hand. All proper posture and smirking mischief, the demon straightened his back and set the tea service down, beginning to prepare a cup and plate for the young man.
"Greetings, Battler-sama. It is my pleasure to serve you my own homemade cookies with this tea. Ah, I had to most cruelly fend off several ungraceful young ladies to manage to bring you these confections intact."
"Haaa, no good, no good at all!" Battle threw his head back and laughed, lounging in his chair as the butler worked. "I don't want hand baked goods from a man. No, I'd rather accept this kind of thing from a cute girl who worked hard on it herself. Even if she burnt the cookies, I'd eat them with tears in my eyes and claim they were delicious."
"I see." Calmly, Ronove poured the tea in the English fashion, leaving room for cream and sugar at the top. Arranging two cookies on the plate he brought it over for Battler and set it on the little table beside the young man's chair. "So, in order to entice you into eating the cookies I've baked, first I must labor to gain your approval. So even if I displayed shameful culinary misdeeds, you would accept them."
"...You're forgetting the cute girl part." Battler smiled bitterly. He leaned back in his chair, prepared for more of Ronove's creepy banter, befitting of his sadistic mistress, when suddenly the butler was in his face, straddling his hips, one white gloved hand on Battler's shoulder, the other holding a cookie. Ronove wasn't sitting on Battler so much as standing above him, way too close.
"Oooooh? What's this?" Battler fought the unease and alarm to sneer arrogantly. "Pretty forward behavior for a butler, don't you think?"
"My apologies if this is forward, Battler-sama." Ronove grinned that knowing, unsettling smile, his tone of voice so proper even as he placed the cookie against Battler's lips. And then his voice changed, resembling more the wavering tones of a nervous girl. "Please, accept this labor of my love, I made these only to be eaten by Battler-sama. Only Battler-sama's lips may touch them, and only your teeth may bite slowly into them, sinking through their softness, and only your tongue may enjoy the sweetness and the complexity of flavors as you slowly savor the feel of it fitting to your mouth--these privileges are only for Battle-sama."
In fact the cookie did smell delicious, still a little warm and fragrant of some kind of spice. Battler could feel the soft, crumbling texture and almost taste the buttery softness of the cookie and Ronove pressed it against his lips.
He tried to turn his head, tilt it away from the cookie.
"Hearing you say it like that just makes it really unappetizing!" Battler grit out, but he didn't clench his teeth down in time, and the sentence he meant to finish with a sneer ended in his mouth being stuffed with cookie--it really was amazingly delicious. He wanted to spit it out but he ended up swallowing instead.
"I'm so glad Battler-sama managed to fit it all in--and even to swallow it all at the end. That gratifies me greatly as furniture." Ronove's voice was smooth and calm as ever once again as he hovered above the grimacing and squirming Battler. Battler glared with a smile that was more like a wince.
"You really are fitting furniture for that woman."
"I shall take your compliments deeply to heart and savor them in my loneliest and most intimate moments."
"Hnngh... You're as vulgar as she is, as well."
"My deepest apologies if I've conducted myself in any unseemly fashion, Battle-sama. Would you like another cookie?"
"Hahah! Why not? Yeah! Feed them to me all you like! Until I'm sick with sugar!"
"As you command Battler-sama, please, try to swallow it all."
Rating: PG-13 for excessive gay and trolling innuendo
Characters: Ronove, Ushiromiya Battler
Summary: Ronove tries to feed Battler snacks.
---
The beautiful sight of golden butterflies gathered together and coalesced into the form of Ronove. The demon butler bowed to Battler, a serving tray of tea and snacks in one hand. All proper posture and smirking mischief, the demon straightened his back and set the tea service down, beginning to prepare a cup and plate for the young man.
"Greetings, Battler-sama. It is my pleasure to serve you my own homemade cookies with this tea. Ah, I had to most cruelly fend off several ungraceful young ladies to manage to bring you these confections intact."
"Haaa, no good, no good at all!" Battle threw his head back and laughed, lounging in his chair as the butler worked. "I don't want hand baked goods from a man. No, I'd rather accept this kind of thing from a cute girl who worked hard on it herself. Even if she burnt the cookies, I'd eat them with tears in my eyes and claim they were delicious."
"I see." Calmly, Ronove poured the tea in the English fashion, leaving room for cream and sugar at the top. Arranging two cookies on the plate he brought it over for Battler and set it on the little table beside the young man's chair. "So, in order to entice you into eating the cookies I've baked, first I must labor to gain your approval. So even if I displayed shameful culinary misdeeds, you would accept them."
"...You're forgetting the cute girl part." Battler smiled bitterly. He leaned back in his chair, prepared for more of Ronove's creepy banter, befitting of his sadistic mistress, when suddenly the butler was in his face, straddling his hips, one white gloved hand on Battler's shoulder, the other holding a cookie. Ronove wasn't sitting on Battler so much as standing above him, way too close.
"Oooooh? What's this?" Battler fought the unease and alarm to sneer arrogantly. "Pretty forward behavior for a butler, don't you think?"
"My apologies if this is forward, Battler-sama." Ronove grinned that knowing, unsettling smile, his tone of voice so proper even as he placed the cookie against Battler's lips. And then his voice changed, resembling more the wavering tones of a nervous girl. "Please, accept this labor of my love, I made these only to be eaten by Battler-sama. Only Battler-sama's lips may touch them, and only your teeth may bite slowly into them, sinking through their softness, and only your tongue may enjoy the sweetness and the complexity of flavors as you slowly savor the feel of it fitting to your mouth--these privileges are only for Battle-sama."
In fact the cookie did smell delicious, still a little warm and fragrant of some kind of spice. Battler could feel the soft, crumbling texture and almost taste the buttery softness of the cookie and Ronove pressed it against his lips.
He tried to turn his head, tilt it away from the cookie.
"Hearing you say it like that just makes it really unappetizing!" Battler grit out, but he didn't clench his teeth down in time, and the sentence he meant to finish with a sneer ended in his mouth being stuffed with cookie--it really was amazingly delicious. He wanted to spit it out but he ended up swallowing instead.
"I'm so glad Battler-sama managed to fit it all in--and even to swallow it all at the end. That gratifies me greatly as furniture." Ronove's voice was smooth and calm as ever once again as he hovered above the grimacing and squirming Battler. Battler glared with a smile that was more like a wince.
"You really are fitting furniture for that woman."
"I shall take your compliments deeply to heart and savor them in my loneliest and most intimate moments."
"Hnngh... You're as vulgar as she is, as well."
"My deepest apologies if I've conducted myself in any unseemly fashion, Battle-sama. Would you like another cookie?"
"Hahah! Why not? Yeah! Feed them to me all you like! Until I'm sick with sugar!"
"As you command Battler-sama, please, try to swallow it all."